of vodka, tequila, margarita and bacardi..

by olive - dec 5, 2005

when i'm feeling down and lonely..
when i'm in pain and i want to forget..
when i'm having sleepless nights...

i turn to friends for comfort and assurance...
we have girl talks over some drinks...
drowning myself with alcohol (even if i'm not a good drinker)
i prided myself that its better to feel
the hang over brought by alcohol
compared to the pain of having a heart broken.

until when...
i dont know.. i've asked myself that questions a thousand times
but i still cant figure it out
am i living in the past?
i dont know.. i wished i'm not..
'coz i want to move on and get myself back.
i know putting myself back on track is not an easy process
but first things first... i have to let go and move on
when and how to start? i dont know...
i'm still trying to figure it out...
a friend said that 'he's not worth the tears and the time so dont linger on the past'
another said 'find some time and make urself busy..
discover happpiness that doesnt include him'
i washed away the tears and the pain by drinking...
even if its just for a while

heavens may cry for me
friends may listen in all my qualms
but in the end, it still depends on me...
if i really want to let go or hold back...
i dont know... the feelings i have for him is still so strong
so strong that it still consumes me and my whole being
i know i have to stop.. sooner or later..
or all the efforts of forgetting him and
forgiving myself will all be in vain..