Before you let go...

I have had enough. No, do not try to reason with me, this is too much. I will try not to think of you when I wake up in the morning and ask myself if somehow you are also awake. I have my own life to lead and my own life to think of. No, I will not even think of you while I am eating my lunch wondering if you are doing the same thing, because eventually I know you will. No, never again will I go to the comfort room and lock myself in just to have some privacy to piteously think of you, cry, sing or do some silly things because of you. In addition, no, never will i again think of you last when I go to sleep. Sleep is my only rest, so please do not plague me in my dreams. I am moving on. I will try to wake up in the morning, smile, and think not of why you left but that once you stayed. And if I feel the need to cry, it will not be for the future that we could have, not for the regrets that I have nor of the anger that i feel, but I will cry because of a love that I never was able to share with the one man I felt it for. I will cry for the love that was lost, and not for the man who left. I will give my affections to any man who is need of it, but not my heart because I still am trying to get it back from you. I will give him the love that you never wanted, the kiss that I so longed to give you and the words that once was yours. Worthy or not worthy of it, at least he is here, you are not. I will try to hold back the tears when I think of you. I will just try to smile. I am moving on, hoping that the next thing would be letting go..