good old memories

you came into my life when i was nursing a broken heart
you made me laugh with your silly antics
you argued with my nonsensical thoughts
there were a lot of things you've done and made for me
but most of all.. you became my best friend

i never ever thought that i would fell... but i did
and i did the bestest thing, i ignored you
you see, my only priority at the time was my studies
and i could not let anything nor anyone get in the way
and you did...

you've wondered why and asked our friends
and i tried really hard.. but i wasn't that strong
eventually, i came back into your arms
those were the happier days
and there i felt love

things changed and i couldn't cope up
i got busier and you were still there
i knew something's wrong
and you're hurting
so i let you go

you held on, you were there.. everywhere
it went on for a while
we held hands, we talked
i realized that everything's back to normal
and for the second time, i'd let you go

i knew this time, it was for real
so i cried
i felt real pains
but i put on a brave face
and tried to be strong

i never told you why i left our relationship
and how i turned my back from our friendship
when you got closed to someone, i felt bad
but it was a decision i never regret
you looked good together...

we left school and you kept in touch
not with me of course (i heard the other half didn't like it, i wonder why)
but my friends... our friends
they told me everything about you, you know
even if i didn't want to know

occassionally, we see each other
and you'll say hi but i was still unperturbed
i still ignored you.. i got used to it
i got numbed..
as if you didn't exist

i was sorry but i never regret anything
i loved you but it was not enough
to keep a relationship
you seemed happy with the life you chose
and that changed everything

when i heard the news, i cried
i called my friends.. our friend
i knew i was late... too late
once again, i saw you and put on a brave face
in front of your coffin... i didn't cry.

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this happened a long long time ago... a few months after his death, he said his goodbye in my dreams.