bored and busy

i have a lot of things to do and my hands are full with work, however, i still feel bored. i used to say that boredom is just a state of mind. but lately, my mind is somewhere else so.. bored nga ako hehe

what to do when you're bored... i checked GT already, tried to gather some infos on how to tweak my friendster account -- gawin ko 'to tonight after ko magplantsa, mag-footscrub, magbasa ng book at makpagchat.. may time pa kaya ako matulog nito? -- see? i've got loads in my hands pero bored pa din ako.

anyway, since wala ako magawa aside tumingin sa pc ko at magpanggap na naiintindihan ko kung anuman ang ginagawa ko.. i visited my blog and read on old stuffs.

oh well, im not sure if its a good thing or a bad thing. devoid of emotions pa din ata ako. pero eto lang, reading those stuffs i've written, i realized na masyado ata talaga akong nasaktan kaya i was able to write those entries. eh pag iniisip ko ngayon, san ko nahugot yung mga ganung klaseng emotions, ndi ko na ma-gets eh.. san? san? o maybe someone has written them for me.. mag-alter ego pa ba ko?! nope, that was me.

there were days na i try to reckon his face, the good memories. pero wala na ko maalala. is this some kind of selective amnesia? di naman siguro.. feelings? lalo ng wala hehe di naman ako bitter noh?! maybe after more than 2 years, resolving my own issues and accepting all my faults.. i let go, it could be my fault as much as it was his, pero.. its over now.. i've forgiven myself for being so dumb and stupid and doing a lot of things that i should have not done just for the sake of that so-called feeling of bliss.

then, what's next? im still trying to find where im destined to go. before everything happened, i knew where i was going. and its just a question of when. and then the course of the wind changed. suddenly, i found myself lost. siguro, yun na lang. up to now, im still trying to find my way back. i still feel lost pero i know in time, i will find the path that i should have taken two years ago.

now, i will try to write as often as i can. pero if writing is going to be synonymous to heartaches.. eh di wag na lang. baka di ko na kayanin pag naulit pa yun.
di din naman ako writer para magkaron ng writer's block.

baka nga siguro, busy lang..