running away...

- written sept 19

oce a year, every sept 18 or 19, i take a day off from work. it started 5 years ago. coincidentally for the first 2 years. and when my world came crushing down during that date on the second year, i've been taking a rest and running away from the world since.

why do i do that? to remind myself that i am just human. once burned and wounded. and that made me realized that i have so much strength, more than i can imagine. that i have really good friends that i can rely on, who's willing to give me shoulders to cry on.

when i told my friends here that i was on leave yday, they kept on asking me why.. of course, i dont want anyone to know my reasons. its too much complicated. sometimes, i cant even comprehend why i am doing that... be sad, cry, sulk when i know that i've moved on.. but these dates will always have a bad effect on me. it reminded me of a lot of things... thats why i just want to runaway and not think of anything.. leave everything behind, not a care in this world.

he asked why. he kept on asking me even guessing on the possible reasons, he doesn't want to see me sad he says. he said that he couldn't have been the reason since we dont know each other last year.. he could have been my reason this year, but of course he's not. but he made me even sadder. knowing that he's showing his concern and i couldn't tell him why... if i can only runaway again today too :(